I am a 33-year-old woman. I never had problems with orgasms until I broke up with my boyfriend several years ago after he cheated on me. I still have feelings for him. Now it has been three years since I orgasmed, I don’t feel as sensitive to touch and I am dry all the time. Please help.The mechanisms involved in becoming physically aroused and achieving orgasm are informed by your psychological state. In your case, there could be some residual trauma or depression after what sounds like a very painful separation. Simplistically speaking, the body sometimes tries to protect a person by shutting down sexual responses so further heartache might be avoided. And when your mood is dramatically lowered in the aftermath of such a loss, it is sometimes difficult to get back on track without help.
Seek an immediate evaluation for depression, and treatment if necessary – bearing in mind that talking therapy might be a first choice because some antidepressants can affect certain aspects of your sexual response. Take heart: the fact that you are intellectually interested in having any kind of sex again is a positive development, and suggests you might be beginning to move on. The mind-body sexual connection is a delicate and complex one; respect it, and actively work to kickstart your full healing process.
Published: 6 April 2015. Pamela Stephenson Connolly
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