A great relationship doesn’t happen overnight. Even the most compatible and passionate couples need to put effort into their partnerships. Here are nine easy ways to boost intimacy and connection with your partner:
Make a fantasy box.
If you want heightened intimacy, you have to be more open and honest with your spouse, especially when it comes to sex. Create a “fantasy box” to keep in the bedroom. Write down your sexual fantasies and put them in the box. Whenever things get dull or routine in the bedroom, pull out a slip and act out the fantasy!
Become adrenaline junkies.
Doing something new and scary with your partner will bring you closer, whether it’s watching a horror movie, riding a roller coaster, or bungee jumping. If you aren’t crazy about the idea of risking bodily harm, simply try something out of the ordinary together — sampling a cuisine you’ve never tried, for example, or traveling somewhere new together.
Initiate something new,all on your own.
Many times couples expect their partner to take their lead. They want more romance, more excitement, and more passion, yet they do nothing to create it themselves. They just sit back and wait for their partner to wake up one day and read their mind! Well, it’s not going to happen that way. You have to take the initiative, make the first move,and spice things up with your own two hands. Try starting off the day by leaning over and giving your partner a deep, sensual kiss, or join him in the shower after he gets home from the gym. Find little ways to surprise him into remembering how sexy and spontaneous you are!
Bring it out of the bedroom.
If you want intercourse to be more exciting, try switching up the venue! Sure, the bedroom is great, and most couples have experimented in their bathroom as well — but what about the kitchen, the back porch, or even the car? Just by having sex somewhere new (and somewhere slightly scandalous) you can get out of a sex rut and embrace your inner daredevil!
Don’t have sex.
Really! Sometimes the sexiest way you can build intimacy is by not having sex. Instead, try VENIS — very erotic noninsertive sex. With VENIS, the focus isn’t on going from 0 to 60 mph in order to reach orgasm. And once penetration is off the table, you’ll be surprised at how sensual sex can become. Try giving each other hot oil massages, playing with feathers, using body paint, and arousing each other in ways other than traditional intercourse.
Don’t be afraid of a little kink.
Erotica and sex toys get a bad rap in our society. People tend to think that these sexy items are for “freaks” or, at the very least, for singles only. But this isn’t the case! Plenty of couples have found that erotica spices up their sex drives and keeps them adventurous, and you and your mate will no doubt find the same. And, don’t fret, ladies. If you aren’t into hardcore pornography (let’s face it, those adult movies are made with men in mind), there are plenty of female-friendly erotic films out there that feature actual plotlines and realistic body parts! If you aren’t ready for erotica or sex toys just yet, try playing with a little light bondage or role-play. It’s okay if you feel silly or awkward at first, just stick with it and have fun!
Make time for your own interests.
One of the best ways to bond as a couple is to spend time apart. Couples who do everything together aren’t necessarily any closer than couples who spend time apart — and they’re a lot more likely to get on each other’s nerves! Make sure you spend time enjoying activities and being with friends the way you did when you were single. Don’t completely lose the person you were before you met your partner — after all, that was the person he fell in love with!
Tell your partner what you want.
We often expect our partners to be mind readers and automatically know what we want. Of course, this is impossible, and when we’re inevitably disappointed, we become resentful and bitter. Rather than getting upset with your partner for not giving you things he doesn’t even know you need, be open about what you are looking for. Couch your request in a compliment rather than a complaint. For instance, you could say “I really like it when you help me clean the house — it shows me how much you care for me and helps me relax and enjoy our time together” or “It really turns me on when you take your time on foreplay before we have sex.” Remember, all good relationships require communication, effort, and a little commitment to spicing things up!
Don’t believe the hype.
No matter what you see featured in romantic movies, the truth is that every couple experiences ebbs and flows in the bedroom, and everyone has to work to keep their sex life fresh and fun. Don’t get caught up in the idea that there is something wrong with your relationship if you have to schedule in date nights and sex, or that intimacy shouldn’t take effort and preparation. Relationships are about communicating and staying committed, even when it comes to what happens between the sheets.
Put in a little extra effort to keep your sex life exciting — and you’ll reap the benefits!